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| Version | User | Scope of changes |
|---|---|---|
| Mar 7 2008, 7:00 AM EST (current) | jerrymont | 3 words added |
| Mar 7 2008, 5:24 AM EST | pedroangel007 | 65 words added |
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Bats
(Pedro Gragera)
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The Spanish
(Javier Almeida)
A German ask to a Spanish: Is truth what the Spanish are enthusiasts to the drunk? And the Spanish answers: Of enthusiast anything, here are PROFESSIONALS
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Two little boys in a hospital
(Javier Almeida)
Two little boys are in a hospital and are lying next to each other. The first boy leans over and asks, "What are you in here for?"
The second replies, "I'm in here to get my tonsils out and I'm a little nervous".
The first boy says, "You've got nothing to worry about. I had that done to me once. They put you to sleep and when you wake up they give you lots of jello and ice cream. It's a piece of cake!"
The second boy then asks, "What are you in here for?"
The first boy replies, "Well, I'm here for a circumcision".
The second says, "Whoa! I had that done when I was born. I couldn't walk for a year!!!"
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Baseball in Heaven
Two buddies, Bob and Earl, were two of the biggest baseball fans in America. Their entire adult lives, Bob and Earl discussed baseball history in the winter, and they shouted every score during the season. They went to 60 games a year. They even agreed that whoever died first would try to come back and tell the other if there was baseball in heaven.
One summer night, Bob passed away in his sleep after watching the Yankee victory earlier in the evening. He died happy.
A few nights later, his buddy Earl awoke to the sound of Bob's voice from beyond.
"Bob is that you?" Earl asked.
"Of course it me," Bob replied.
"This is unbelievable!" Earl exclaimed. "So tell me, is there baseball in heaven?"
"Well I have some good news and some bad news for you. Which do you want to hear first?"
"Tell me the good news first."
"Well, the good news is that yes, there is baseball in heaven, Earl."
"Oh, that is wonderful! So what could possibly be the bad news?"
"You're pitching tomorrow night."
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Husband in Sorrow
A woman awakes during the night, and her husband isn’t in bed with her. She goes downstairs to look for him. She finds him sitting at the kitchen table with a cup of coffee in front of him. He appears to be in deep thought, just staring at the wall. She watches as he wipes a tear from his eye and takes a sip of his coffee. "What's the matter, dear?" she asks. "Why are you down here at this time of night?"
The husband looks up from his coffee, "Do you remember 20 years ago when we were dating, and you were only 16?" he asks solemnly.
"Yes, I do," she replies.
"Do you remember when your father caught us in the back seat of my car making love?"
"Yes, I remember," says the wife, lowering herself into a chair beside him.
The husband continues, "Do you remember when he shoved the shotgun in my face and said, 'Either you marry my daughter, or I'll send you to jail for 20 years?’"
"I remember that, too," she replies softly.
He wipes another tear from his cheek and says, "I would have gotten out today".
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Bats
(Pedro Gragera)
There is a group of bats that are in the cave, then of that it is done by night they go out to look for food, at the time after a while turn one with the knobs full of blood and his companion ask him little boy wherefrom you come that purple Viennese and I have not found anything of eating!!!! Whole that takes his friend of the shoulder and says to him: look!!, do you see this bridge that is there?, to what the friend says to him: yes, then he says other one to him:
since I did not see it!!
since I did not see it!!
What does a lepero at three o'clock in the morning shouting and traversing for the field? ....... To sow the panic.
What does say a match to a smoker?..... Do not kill me.
This they are two mosquitos that go montaods in a motorcycle, and of behind he says to him to of ahead: for, in order that an insect has got into the eye.
What does say a match to a smoker?..... Do not kill me.
This they are two mosquitos that go montaods in a motorcycle, and of behind he says to him to of ahead: for, in order that an insect has got into the eye.
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The Spanish
(Javier Almeida)
A German ask to a Spanish: Is truth what the Spanish are enthusiasts to the drunk? And the Spanish answers: Of enthusiast anything, here are PROFESSIONALS
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Two little boys in a hospital
(Javier Almeida)
Two little boys are in a hospital and are lying next to each other. The first boy leans over and asks, "What are you in here for?"
The second replies, "I'm in here to get my tonsils out and I'm a little nervous".
The first boy says, "You've got nothing to worry about. I had that done to me once. They put you to sleep and when you wake up they give you lots of jello and ice cream. It's a piece of cake!"
The second boy then asks, "What are you in here for?"
The first boy replies, "Well, I'm here for a circumcision".
The second says, "Whoa! I had that done when I was born. I couldn't walk for a year!!!"
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
Baseball in Heaven
Two buddies, Bob and Earl, were two of the biggest baseball fans in America. Their entire adult lives, Bob and Earl discussed baseball history in the winter, and they shouted every score during the season. They went to 60 games a year. They even agreed that whoever died first would try to come back and tell the other if there was baseball in heaven.
One summer night, Bob passed away in his sleep after watching the Yankee victory earlier in the evening. He died happy.
A few nights later, his buddy Earl awoke to the sound of Bob's voice from beyond.
"Bob is that you?" Earl asked.
"Of course it me," Bob replied.
"This is unbelievable!" Earl exclaimed. "So tell me, is there baseball in heaven?"
"Well I have some good news and some bad news for you. Which do you want to hear first?"
"Tell me the good news first."
"Well, the good news is that yes, there is baseball in heaven, Earl."
"Oh, that is wonderful! So what could possibly be the bad news?"
"You're pitching tomorrow night."
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
Husband in Sorrow
A woman awakes during the night, and her husband isn’t in bed with her. She goes downstairs to look for him. She finds him sitting at the kitchen table with a cup of coffee in front of him. He appears to be in deep thought, just staring at the wall. She watches as he wipes a tear from his eye and takes a sip of his coffee. "What's the matter, dear?" she asks. "Why are you down here at this time of night?"
The husband looks up from his coffee, "Do you remember 20 years ago when we were dating, and you were only 16?" he asks solemnly.
"Yes, I do," she replies.
"Do you remember when your father caught us in the back seat of my car making love?"
"Yes, I remember," says the wife, lowering herself into a chair beside him.
The husband continues, "Do you remember when he shoved the shotgun in my face and said, 'Either you marry my daughter, or I'll send you to jail for 20 years?’"
"I remember that, too," she replies softly.
He wipes another tear from his cheek and says, "I would have gotten out today".
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